Hold the Candles!

You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

-Franz Kafka

As the end of another decade in my life approaches, I reach back in my memory bank and recall the person I was 10 years ago. She was an unbalanced creature.  Smiles on the outside but dark, contorted and disfigured on the inside.  I have so much compassion for her as she struggles to hold up an image of who she thought she should be to the outside world.  Holding so many secrets inside.  Secret fears, secret blame, guilt, burdens that she was entrusted to carry for family members.  Keeping busy busy busy.  No time for a bath, even!  She did not realize what this act would cost…

As I was discussing celebration options for the start of a new decade with a relative the other day, I found myself telling her …that I hope none of my younger siblings (there are three) make the same mistakes I did in my ’40’s.  Mistakes like dumbing oneself down to fit in with people that no longer resonate, settling for a life of struggle because “that is just the way life is”, stuffing feelings down that seem like a waste of time.

Spending massive amounts of life force fuelling a persona that I thought was me almost cost me my life, and the part I was playing was NOT worth my most precious opportunity.  What do I mean?  The part I was playing was not authentic and the only person that cared and was wounded by my act was ME!  Life truly is a gift, and when it feels like something else, it is time to ask for help.  Each of us is entitled to make a decision to question the beliefs that have created the experiences we find ourselves having.  Now that I have the hang of it, the more I question how I want to feel, the more opportunities I give myself to shift my experiences into joy.

What do I know stepping into my next decade?  What would I tell my younger self?  Ahhhh…. so many diamonds of sparkly truth.

A few thoughts…

Stop listening to yourself whine about the same old thing every time you talk to your friends.  Everyone is exhausted playing that game.

Stop wasting your time with people who bore you.

Come clean with yourself.

Slow down enough to figure yourself out.

Stop making yourself do things that you hate. Prioritize your soul.

Tune in to how your body feels during your daily routine. How much does it hurt at any given hour?  Listen to it & stop pushing it!  Trust me until you leave this planet you have a body to manage.

Are you still participating in activities you enjoyed in your 20s with the same enthusiasm? Really? I would love to hear you explain that one.

Prioritize exploring what makes you curious.  If nothing new interests you there is a problem.  Ask for help from someone who is on the other side of what you are struggling with.

Write down what you know for sure.  Laugh if your list has more than two items.

Admit to and forgive yourself for admiring those who later took advantage of you and for dismissing those who really cared.

Recognize that within you is a little child who needs your love.

How about you?  What advice would you give yourself from 10 years ago?  Let me know if any of the above resonates with you.  I know you have great wisdom too!  Share below.

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